9 things I've learned about motherhood

I don't claim to be an expert, and I know I am still learning, but here are some things I have been pondering about what I've learned in my first two years of being a mother.

1. My bed is no longer mine
I don't like being touched while sleeping.  There were times when I was younger when I had to share a bed with my younger sisters and it drove me crazy when they touched me.  I remember one night when I slept in between my two youngest sisters when I was 20, which would have made them 10 and 12.  I did not sleep well because they kept rolling over onto me.

Being a mother has made me learn to deal with that.  It is amazing how much room a 3 month old takes up on a queen sized bed!  I usually fall asleep nursing him, and he isn't very patient with being moved.  Sometimes I insist on it, but other times he wins the fight and I sleep with him on the bed.  I get cramped because I sleep in weird positions to keep from sleeping on him or having the blankets cover him, but I do sleep.

Fortunately, my two year old prefers his own bed and doesn't come climb into bed with us right now.  I hope he doesn't move into one of those stages until the baby is sleeping through the night in his own bed.

2. Sleep anytime, anywhere
Before I had children I was a fussy sleeper.  I couldn't have light or noise, I always woke up to my roommates alarm (sometimes better than they did), I couldn't sleep in cars, and I needed to be covered up to sleep.


I can't be picky anymore.  The hospital rooms I slept in when I had my babies were never completely dark, and my husband is usually still up when I go to bed now, so there are lights on.  The only time I ever hear my husband's alarm is when I'm already awake.  I have fallen asleep on long car trips, and when I have nursing babies, I don't get covered up very well, because I don't want to risk smothering the baby.

The one exception is noise, or in particular, my children.  The right noise from my baby or toddler has me awake immediately, and sometimes up and running before I realize it.

3. Men don't hear anything!
At least my husband doesn't.  Once he is asleep, he is out like a light and never hears the baby cry, or the toddler come in the room at 5:30 am.  With our first, we used to take turns getting the baby for nursing, but I've given that up, because it takes 5 minutes to wake him up properly, by which point the baby is angry and very awake.  It's easier to just grab him myself.

4. Privacy and personal space no longer exist
My toddler insists on following me into the bathroom, and he loves to climb up on my lap and crowd as close as possible when I am on the computer.  The only reason he isn't on me right now is because he is playing blocks with Daddy.

5. Modesty is a non-issue
At age two, it really doesn't matter what they see.  They won't remember it, and they aren't that far off from nursing anyway.  I walk around in my underwear and change in front of my kids.  As they get older, I'll have to be more careful about those kinds of things I suppose, but one thing I will never be anal about?  Nursing.  As long as I have babies, I will nurse them openly in front of my children.  I want them to understand that nursing is a natural thing and to be comfortable with it.


6. My private time is subject to revocation and without advance notice
I rarely get to spend as much time in the bathtub as I would like because the baby will wake up and need nursing, or the toddler will get sick.  I don't get to read without interruption, and I certainly don't get computer time alone, my toddler loves the computer.  My husband is great about helping me get some private time, but he can't nurse the baby, and if both kids are needing attention, I feel guilty leaving him to deal with them.

7. Laundry is a bottomless pit
I only have two kids and laundry is NEVER done.  I can't imagine what it'll be like when we have the full set.  As soon as the last load gets put away, the next load is ready to wash.  I love having my washer and dryer where it is because it's central and easy to keep up with the clothes.  I'm not really looking forward to having it downstairs in the house we are buying because it will make it more complicated. 

8. Women are stronger than the cliche
Illustration:  Me carrying a purse, the baby in his car seat, three bags of groceries, and a thirty pound toddler all at the same time.  Need I say more?


9. Gross things aren't so gross anymore
Before I had kids, seeing someone else throw up made me want to throw up, as did the idea of having to clean up someone else's vomit.  Now I clean up vomit, snotty noses, and extremely nasty leaky poopy diapers without turning a hair.  But I still let my husband take care of spiders when he is home!